I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
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