yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
