Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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