He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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