Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
