The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
How's work?
Spinning.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
