i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
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