I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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