i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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