think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He did a backflip because drugs
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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