it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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