Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize