will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
