I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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