he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize