I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I have tasted many bathrooms
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
