Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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