youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Less talking, more tequila
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
