Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
