fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Life is so much better after having sex.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
