I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
