He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
