problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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