its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
