The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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