God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
