please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
