Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
