What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
