I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
