Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
