you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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