shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she told me i tasted like america
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
