he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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