I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
