even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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