btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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