so explain again why im purple
no
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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