You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
