sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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