just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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