the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
