I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
