so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
