I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Randomize
