I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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