Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
