No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
