you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
