so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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