Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
