He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
