I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
