she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you win again, gameday.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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