I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
