I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
