escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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