Don't you send me to vm
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
