i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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