waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
