I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
