even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
