I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize